After my eleventh unpublished book, I was convinced I was through.  I thought the next step was moving to L.A. to pursue acting with my wife.  When I got here, however, my old tendencies crept right back in, and I found myself scratching tidbits on slips of paper at the most inopportune times.  Over a year later I’d accumulated a new file of scraps and begun four different journals.  The single book that came of it was initially meant to be an encouragement to people just starting out on the path to their dreams—thus the title.  But, as often happens, something took over—in this case life itself—and I’m afraid the only help anyone will find in the following pages is that familiar voice that says, “You’re not the only one.”  It turns out I’m not much of an encourager, but rather the voice of endurance.

I very infrequently read, actually.  I hadn’t thought of passing myself off as a writer, because I don’t much like them.  I fell into it because I had no other means of expression.  I couldn’t afford paints or art supplies, acting or music lessons.  I had no resources, so I picked up a pen to complain about it.  In that way, I am the product of having nothing, in a world that offers everything.  That’s why I’ve come to see writing as the purest art form—it is what you can resort to when there is nothing else.

So what exactly have I come up with?  Well, there are glints of hope, and some occasional advice, but mostly this is for people who struggle, who are unhappy, whom things keep going wrong for.  It’s like the blues, just there to let you wallow.  And it’s sort of entertainment at my expense, like the comedies and tragedies of old, or like reality TV in ways.  This is a journal, a record of my introduction to L.A., slipping off increasingly into songs and poetry as I found that I just had to vent.  There isn’t any resolution but the chronicle itself, because I’m still alive, still struggling, and will continue writing until I no longer have any emotion left.  This is my twelfth book, possibly the darkest yet.  I’m quite proud.