Ryan Hedegard & Sick Friends - Alone For Christmas

01. Boy Loses Girl

Boy loses girl, his only one,

she’s taken everything,

and left his heart impaled and ruined,

alone and suffering, alone and suffering,

alone, alone and suffering.

Boy loses girl, his heartstrings break

just like a broken toy.

She leaves him alone, as cold as stone,

and meets another boy, and meets another boy,

she meets, she meets another boy.

He loses her, she’s soon replaced

by pain that makes him swoon.

He’s left alone to brood and reflect

on blunders of his love, on blunders of his love,

the blunders, blunders of his love.

02. The Breakup Song

Left alone and toasting by the fire,

trying to light my heart of coal;

you, embarrassed and confused by desire,

left me with an aching, gaping hole.

Everybody knows my hurt and isolation grow,

helpless notions I can’t fight;

countless thoughts I cannot let go

will make it hard to sleep tonight.

I know the past has gone away,

I know a hundred reasons you could never stay,

and every other boy to try will know in time

how I have wasted so much of my life.

And so I’m altering this simple phrase

for my sole advice to you;

although you are hopeful, believe what I say,

dreams will never come true.

The case I’m presenting is painfully true;

dreams just never come through.

03. My Baby’s Gone & Disappeared

My baby’s gone and disappeared.

she left me here alone;

my angel’s gone and she said that she

is never coming home.

I walk the earth a lonely man,

in sadness and self-defeat;

the world a solemn and gloomy place,

a bleak and pointless thing.

For lo, the days have lumbered on,

my heart has long been cold,

and all but sadness and despair

have left me here alone.

Why must I always fall in love

—it’s such a ridiculous thing!

My baby up and left me here;

she’s taken everything.

04. Single Belles

Slashing open throats

with a clean, serrated blade,

leaving me to choke,

laughing at my pain.

Belting welting stings,

I am a horrid sight;

such fun you seem to have at

my expense throughout the night.

Single belles, single belles,

single, crazy dames!

I had one and now there’re none;

she filled me with dismay.

Single belles, single belles,

single, crazy dames!

I’m undone; she is the one

who killed me with her games.

05. I’m Alone For Christmas

I’m alone for Christmas,

you can count on me;

without snow or mistletoe,

or presents under the tree.

Christmas Eve will find me

sad and lonely;

I’m alone for Christmas,

you’re only in my dreams.

I’m alone for Christmas,

lone as lone can be;

breezes blow and heaven knows

I lost my baby.

Christmas Eve will find me

in depressing sleep;

I’m alone for Christmas,

you’re only in my dreams.

06. Talking With Whoever Understands

Everything I was missing

finally came with our kissing,

a beautiful sight, but it wasn’t right;

I’m talking with whoever understands.

Gone away now, the one girl

who could make this a new world;

now I should be strong, but I can’t go on,

talking with whoever understands.

I remember everything you said when

we pretended no one was around;

we said we’d be married by the ocean,

but dreams we had are nowhere to be found.

All day long I inquire

of the wind, who killed the fire?

The wind, I’m afraid, won’t speak of those days;

the gawking wind refused to lend a hand,

so I’m talking with whoever understands.

07. Awake & In Danger

Awake and in danger of losing my head,

I think of you happy and wish I was dead;

the stars in the skies look down with dismay,

the little born loser, alone and afraid.

While breezes are blowing, my baby awakes;

I dwell on the distance and dwell on mistakes.

“I love you, my darling,” I breathe with a sigh,

then stare out the window without her and cry.

Be near me, my God, while my baby’s away,

and tell her that I didn’t want it this way.

Bless all the dear children in thy tender care,

and take me to heaven to live with her there.

08. I Think I’m Going To Tell Them

I think I’m going to tell them

how blatantly you lied;

while I was deeply moved, you

seemed to want my heart to die.

While in my dark left pining,

in everlasting night,

my hopeless tears and truest

fears were met with your delight.

O crisis, born of urgency,

this tattered banner of

that perfect fleeting memory

of she who once I loved.

In mourning now, and weathered

by turning of the earth,

I sit and sing of ancient things

and wonder what it’s worth.

How violently, how violently

you taught me how to live

with poisoned darts in tender

parts that you alone could give.

You clearly led to dangers

that cleared a path to hell,

now from the dust the tale

of us is just the tale I tell.

09. Beastly Things

Beastly things disorient our

senses from the second they start,

weeping fountains, heaping mountains,

swallowing tender hearts.

O scars of plunder, scars of plight,

scars of toil, bruises, blights,

faint and bleeding, self-defeating,

chided through eternal night.

Born to suffering and pain,

worn and scorned and frowning again,

now and ever, our endeavors

flow through an endless drain.

O scars of plunder, scars of plight,

scars of toil, bruises, blights,

faint and bleeding, self-defeating,

blinded to the surface light.

Burning incense, berry and pine,

nonsense streams through poetry lines,

barely breathing, staring, seething,

wishing that I could die.

Smoke and clove, my bitter perfume,

fills where you are not in the room,

sorrow, sighing, bouts of crying,

sealed in my earthly tomb.

Tortured now, my curses arise,

sting and claw my happy disguise,

cut into me, black and blue me,

leaving me paralyzed.

O scars of plunder, scars of plight,

scars of toil, bruises, blights,

faint and bleeding, self-defeating,

sliced in two by hurt and fright,

railed and reamed, impaled and freezing,

child of doom’s eternal night.

10. Oh Lover Unfaithful

Oh lover, unfaithful, disloyal and repugnant,

oh lover, oh underhanded woman!

Once tender virgin, now a hardened stranger,

oh lover lying dormant; another year of torment,

my broken heart in fragments on the floor.

Sting fires of danger, singed by adoration,

oh bring me the ashes of a smoldering love;

born a facade, tortured now your conquest.

If only I implored it, my soul might be rewarded,

but I cannot afford to be vulnerable.

Nay, though you beat me,

leave me here in mourning,

Jesus has promised me a place in heaven,

where I’ll no longer bear these useless feelings;

oh lover, I am cold and impervious to warmth,

and disclosing I am torn forevermore.

11. Defiled Is This

Defiled is this unsightly wreck,

whose eyes are red with weeping,

whose angel left, whose heart’s distressed,

whose nights are spent without sleeping.

This, this is suffering,

the sad affairs of which crooners sing.

This, this is misery,

that my baby refused to marry.

Oh death, come quickly, come for me;

my heart is broken and bleeding.

Oh where, the solace Christ may bring;

my weary soul is pleading!

This, this is tragedy,

the saddest song I’ll ever sing.

This, this is misery;

my baby refused to marry.

12. All Alone & Suffering

Darkened air of treachery,

born this eve of suffering,

grief descending over miles,

stretched across her thoughtless guiles.

Joyless, all my fear arises,

wakened by her cruel disguises,

splintered into broken frame,

shattered like a window pane;

darkened air of treachery,

all alone and suffering.

Girl I passionately adored,

stomped the fruit of sweetness poured;

now fermented wine of love

—unrequited, empty cup!

Bottled flask for me to sip,

tight the cork and tight her lips;

keep it bottled on the shelf,

all her goodness to herself.

Darkened air of treachery,

all alone and suffering.

13. Little Gunner Boy

“Come,” they told me.

(I’d rather not come.)

“There is a party.”

(I’d rather not come.)

“There will be drinking...”

(I’m already drunk.)

“...and cigarettes and things.”

(I’m smoking one...

already drunk...

rather not come.)

So I answered them,

“I’d rather not come...

go have fun.”

Social losers,

(I am not one.)

I’m not a bit like you.

(I am not one.)

I live in misery,

(My world is undone.)

torment and suffering.

(I am not one...

world is undone...

am not one.)

I’d rather end it all

(My world is undone.)

with a gun.

So they nodded,

(They thought me glum.)

and walked out quietly.

(They thought me glum.)

I had a beer or three,

(I drank myself numb.)

got blitzed on Christmas Eve.

(I drank myself numb...

drank myself numb...

I was so glum.)

I raised it quietly,

(I was so glum.)

raised my gun.

14. Dove, Yelling, Off A Mountain

Dove, yelling, off a mountain,

over the hills and through the air;

dove, yelling, off a mountain,

landing in a gorge.

While minding my own business,

a stranger caught my eye;

here I am years later,

committing suicide.

Dove, yelling, off a mountain,

over the still and stagnant air;

dove, yelling off a mountain,

knowing what’s in store.

The center she resembled

came crashing to the earth,

then doubt and admonition

derailed my frail self-worth.

Dove, yelling, off a mountain,

going until my frame’s impaled;

dove, yelling, off a mountain,

to the canyon floor.

Now when you see my carcass,

my beaten, battered form,

remember how you hurt me

and threw me to the storm.

Dove, yelling, off a mountain,

over the chill of wounding stares;

dove, yelling, off a mountain,

from your tempting lure.

15. Oh Run, Oh Run, & Save Yourself

Oh run, oh run and save yourself;

leave me to my living hell,

that mourns in lonely exile here,

since she to me will never appear.

Devoid, devoid, an empty shell,

left collecting fragments of myself.

Oh love, undone by stabs and jeers;

I bled myself a thousand tears,

immersed in gloom and shrouded by night,

your shadow holding captive my light.

This voice, this voice, tormenting my soul,

undoubtedly will take its toll.

Won’t someone run a dagger through my heart,

blow the fragile sentiment apart;

for I have felt it softly implode,

when beaten with her heart of stone.

Destroyed, destroyed, this broken shell,

left basking in the fragments of myself.

16. Wretched All

Wretched, all the bouts of folly.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Sick of all the nights with Molly.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Dawn and Angel, Chris and Cheryl.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Heck with them and heck with Carol.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Free me from this awful chorus.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Strike the list of Jen and Doris.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

I derive no earthly pleasure.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

All alone and altogether.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Dash it all, a thousand lashes.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Scratch the backs of all the lasses.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Sick of all the friends, fair weather.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Needless, them, and rid of Heather.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

17. Silent Night, Lonely Night

Silent night, lonely night,

all is wrong, nothing right;

proud young virgins, minds running wild,

given to curious boys to defile,

still there’s no one for me,

still there’s no one for me.

Silent night, loathsome night,

heartstrings break by candlelight;

stories bleed from heaven afar,

as I wonder where you are,

silence in tangible form,

silence in tangible form.

Silent night, lonely night,

empty arms, no invites;

radiant dreams of thy lovely face,

dreams of feeling thy warm embrace;

no more alone on this earth,

no more alone on this earth.

18. Do You See What I See?

Said a slight wind to a lonely man,

“Do you see what I see?”

Gaze upon her beauty while you can;

do you see what I see?

“A star, a star fallen through the night,

for the earth to bathe in her light,

for the earth to bathe in her light.”

Said the lonely man to the perfect girl,

“With you here, the skies clear.”

Singing her the praise of the world,

“Will you, dear, be my dear?”

The song, the song echoed through the trees,

and was answered with only the breeze,

and was answered with only the breeze.

Said the lonely man again, urgently,

“I will go where you go;

let me be your everything,

let me know what you know.”

The child, the child, princess dressed in gold,

turned away and started to go,

turned away and started to go.

Finally said the girl as she left me there,

“I must go my own way.”

As my heart sank in despair

—there is simply no way.

A child, a child, weeping in the night;

and such is the lot of my life,

and so, the lot of my life.

19. Depressing Married Gentlemen

Depressing married gentlemen,

whom nothing can dismay,

pour salt across my wounds

while I am suffering this day,

returning home to all they have

while I am left in pain;

oh residing discomfort and void, utterly void,

oh disquieted and utterly destroyed.

Oh God, oh Heavenly Father,

a blessed angel came

to undo all my certainty

and steal my joy away,

then leave me with my brokenness,

confusion and shame;

oh residing discomfort and void, utterly void,

oh disquieted and utterly destroyed.

Ill-tempered, I defiantly

raise fists up to the sky,

and question why God sent-

enced me for all your petty crimes;

why must I be reminded

that you were never mine?

Oh residing discomfort and void, utterly void,

oh disquieted and utterly destroyed.

20. Have Yourself A Very Little Christmas

Have yourself a very little Christmas,

without me tonight;

from now on, I’ll no longer be in your life.

Have yourself a very little Christmas,

by the window pane;

from now on, my love, I will be miles away.

Here we are in our coldest days,

not the olden days, for sure;

faithful friends one time dear to us

will not hear from us anymore.

Through the years we’ll no more be together,

no more broken vows; I’ll miss you dear,

but that’s the way that things turned out.

So have yourself a very little Christmas now.

Through the tears, I’ll think about forever,

who I lived without; believe me dear,

it’s you that I will think about.

So have yourself a very little Christmas,

have yourself a very little Christmas,

have yourself a very little Christmas now.

21. She Misses Me

She misses me, she misses me;

she told a friend about me.

She misses me, she misses me;

she’s been so long without me.

Returning after all this time

sends shivers up and down my spine.

She misses me, she misses me;

oh please don’t say you doubt me.

These wishes breed a mean reprieve;

she has not thought about me.

There really needn’t ever be

another arm around me.

I haven’t heard a word from her,

no, not the faintest little stir.

She misses me, she misses me;

but only in my memory.

22. Wishing Well

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks,

been alone for a while,

in the air there’s a feel something’s missing;

children laughing, people passing,

faking smile after smile;

how I’m wishing that you could be here.

Wishing well, wishing well,

wish I could be with my baby;

wedding rings, happy things,

wish she was with me today.

By the firelight after midnight,

when the phone doesn’t ring;

you could never know how much I miss you.

Think I love you, thinking of you

—what have you done to me?

Oh my darling, I wish you were near.

Wishing well, wishing well,

wish I could be with my baby;

wedding rings, happy things,

wish she was with me today.

Wishing well, wishing well,

please lead me back to my baby;

wedding rings, happy things,

please make her miss me today.

23. Let It Go

Darling, whether or not we were faithful,

we have always still been hateful

when we needed our space to grow;

let it go, let it go, let it go.

No it doesn’t show signs of stopping;

both our temperatures are dropping.

Now I’m burning those things you wrote;

let it go, let it go, let it go.

When we finally kiss goodbye,

well, I wonder what I loved you for;

all the reasons I held you tight

crumble to dust on the floor.

With a friendship slowly dying,

with the tears that I’ve been crying,

well, we have to do this, we know;

let it go, let it go, let it go.

Let it go, let it go, let it go.

24. Slight Sickness

I’m grieving with a slight sickness,

that everywhere I seem to go,

your image glistens, and if I listen,

I hear your whispers in the cold.

Dry-heaving with a slight sickness,

with every Christmas song I write;

may your days be harsh and unkind,

just as you have made mine.

25. Oh Lonely Night

Oh lonely night, the heart within me pining;

it is the night of the dear Savior’s birth.

Long awaited girl, my cloud’s silver lining,

disappeared, and I lost all my worth.

A thrill of hope, my weary soul rejoiced at,

for I awakened to her glorious form;

down on my knees, I’m begging please

don’t leave me stranded.

Oh night divine, oh night when we were warm,

oh night, oh lonely night, oh night divine.

Truly he taught us to love one another;

oh darling, please bring your love back to me.

Love we’ll make, sweeter than all others;

how you could turn my depression to peace!

Sweet kisses on your lips and on your face would

breathe their warmth in all our warm embraces.

Please, babe, I need you,

so please don’t be a stranger.

Oh girl, I implore you, oh girl, I hunger for you,

oh love, oh love of mine, oh love divine.

26. Strangers We Have Turned In Time

Strangers we have turned in time,

barely ringing bells, the name;

scarcely even recognize

who once wore your treasured face.